Duplicitous

Duplicitous

I’m just not sure which one is right, right now

I have no idea, my vision is opaque right now

Sometimes there is no confusion, I am 100% sure

This is who I am, there is no doubt about it

I look into the mirror and I see me staring back

My suit is oh so nice, and my shirt is custom made

My cufflinks match my tie and my shoes match my belt

Yep, that’s me at least that’s me Monday through Friday

And in the blink of an eye, that is not me at all

At 5:31pm I have no idea who that is

I expect to see someone oh so low key

Someone in jeans that fit just below the hips

I’m looking for the cap to match the shirt just right

I’m lookin for the air force ones to be too clean

Yeah, that’s who I’m lookin for but he ain’t here

So I get home and quickly become that dude

But now I don’t recognize him at all

It’s Monday at 7:21 am and that dude is a stranger

I’m looking for the gentleman in the suit,

But he is no where to be found, so I’m lookin

I’m lookin in the mirror and I don’t know who that is

Then my wife says today is a holiday

And all of a sudden it’s me again in the jeans

I know both of these men, they both are me

I just don’t know which me I want the world to see

Corporate me or weekend me, but you know what?

it’s still just me

23.4.9.12

I am Panthera Leo Felidae
Trapped in a cage
Is there a worse transgression
Than seeing the king of the jungle
Tame, lazy and humble
The eyes lack fire, the teeth have dulled
Panthera Leo as intense as a mouse
The King
Poor lion, poor me
Devoid of ambition
Robbed of all hope
Unable to be the me
I was created to be
Because desire is lost

I am the mighty river
Contained in a reservoir
Man’s attempt to harness my energy
My natural rage
has become A subtle current
My intuitive way
Of finding a way
Over, under or around
Has been stripped away
And now I lay placid
The flow of water without power
Reflections of stolen desire

I am tener niger vir
Living in America
Stolen from my ancestral home
In a constant struggle
To be acknowledged as equal
My environment is flooded
With lack
Lack of healthy foods
Lack of good schools
Lack of support
So I become
The caged lion when freed
I am the water when the damn burst
I refuse to be
Broken and mad
Or mad broke
I will not be subject
To lost desire
So I rage and consume
Fighting to avoid becoming
The lion in the cage
The river behind the damn
My desire is not lost
My desire for acceptance
Has been replaced
By my desire
To survive